the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
