The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
