why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
