i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
