I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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