I think my fart just growled at me.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Congratulations! We have a period
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