I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
