she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We are all done wearing pants today
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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