last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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