There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
