I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
