Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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