How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
