But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
