I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
