I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize