Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
