I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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