CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
