They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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