is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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