look no pants
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
