i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
