i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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