Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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