you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
