I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
