Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
