wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
