Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This is my gift to your gina
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
