i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize