I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
