What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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