Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
