I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
