I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
