I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
