the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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