He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
