Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
