you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
