Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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