Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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