Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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