Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
