Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
