making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize