I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
