oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
