Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
sarcasm needs its own font
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
