Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
high people should be assigned attendants
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
