last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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