True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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