I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
