Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
