My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
