I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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