so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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