I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
