I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
