Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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