I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
