I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
