is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
