I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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